As police officers we have a tendency to see just about everything that's going on around us. It's our training that's been engrained into our brain to always be vigilant.
Here is how 28 years of being an officer has prepared me for my retirement years.
While in Hawaii, the number one thing that all us guys and gals must have in our possession are dark sun glasses. The rays are much stronger in Hawaii especially on the sandy beaches of Waikiki. For those that have been there can relate and I am sure will support my findings. So when on site, put those bad boys on and save your eyes!
Now, we had been in Hawaii for a couple of weeks and I can't believe my lovely wife would do such a thing. As we were walking through the pool area, my wife quietly whispered, "Hey honey, that gal has her top off"! Of course being a trained observer with many years of experience, I took a quick look and immediately, I could feel my eyes burning. If they were made of glass, they would have cracked. The lovely lady that my wife was inquiring about, was approximately in her late 80"s or early 90's. Just in that quick second, I observed a most terrifying and for ever etched into my memory, a pair of breast that looked like a pair of water balloons (small) that hung down to the waist and looked like beef jerky! I am sorry if I offend anyone, but ouch! What does my wife say to that? That's what you get! Mahalo
Mistake number one, I don't know of anyone's wife that would give them a 952 on a topless babe. Do you? I have learned my lesson.
The other day, I was driving down Lafayette in Santa Clara, when I observed this heavy set gentleman riding this 10-speed bike. He was wearing a very skimpy pair of shorts that was obviously a bit too small for him, but nevertheless, he stopped at one of the red lights. Here we go again, as I glance over towards him, I notice the wind blowing his t-shirt up and here is this very pronounced plumbers crack. Listen folks, I know this appears sick and sometimes I wonder if this is a sickness I obtained while up in SAIU but, as I took another look, it wasn't the plumbers' crack that took me by surprise, but the red tattooed heart that was above his crack that left me wondering…why? Who is this heart for? Should I run him over? Just kidding, but this my friend will also be etched in my memory. Why me?
So next time your out and about, be very careful where you look. What you see maybe one of those moments that will forever be etched in your memory.